its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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