Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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