Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
