You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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