Christians are straight up FREAKS
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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