theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
