He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
