we have officially lost it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
