pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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