Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
