OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
