Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
