Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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