I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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