Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
