So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
