ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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