He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
