I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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