sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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