Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
