This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
