I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
