you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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