his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
