Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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