how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it because I queefed?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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