If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
