yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
