But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
