Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
