If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
