lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
