my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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