I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
