I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
