someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
