dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
