we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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