i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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