allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
