the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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