His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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