mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
