This girl is more easily done than said...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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