I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize