he wants to bone in the snuggie
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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