Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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