Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize