I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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