we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
