OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
