For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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