She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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