Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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