Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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