Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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