dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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