Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize