take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I need water and some morals
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