Hey man sorry I got all grabby
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
