don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
