It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize