She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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