i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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