You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
